So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
