You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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