i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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