She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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