What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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