rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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