That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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