Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
