You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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