I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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