How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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