Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
