I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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