real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
