He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
