You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
