I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
it was like his penis was on wheels.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He had one of those small greek statue penises
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
