Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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