Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
