Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
