So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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