You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
