batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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