Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Randomize
