Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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