what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
