is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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