You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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