Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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