dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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