I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize