As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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