everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
