ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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