I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
