Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
