I got chris browned last night
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
