Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
