I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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