Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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