I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I touched a dick in church today
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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