So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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