he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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