Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
