She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
