I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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