She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
