and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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