I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So many bounce houses so little time
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
