Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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