I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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