return my video game
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
