DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
