East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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