i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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