wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
