Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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