So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
