I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i think i have two assholes
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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