I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
