so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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