The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
