Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
