That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
