So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
