She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
