he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
tell me about the eggs
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize