flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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