I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
