i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
