i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I supernannyed him into submission
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
