Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
