new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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