And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
50% drunk capacity currently
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
