i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
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