Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
