For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
