i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
