With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
