If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
pop tarts are not kleenex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize