you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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